what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
