Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
