Soap is not a condiment
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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