yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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