I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
