I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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