I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
