I am midnight drunk by noon
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
