i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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