i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize