Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
