this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
