That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
