You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
