escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
