Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
