I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
