what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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