i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
