she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
