I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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