What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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