at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
