I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize