I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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