i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize