WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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