oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
