look no pants
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
