just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
