I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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