I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
