And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
