Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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