so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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