I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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