I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How external is "for external use only"?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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