Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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