um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He passed out mid-signature
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
