i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
