and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you didnt know i had herpes?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
