It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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