just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
