dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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