sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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