so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
