in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
