let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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