The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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