I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
