I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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