I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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