"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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