You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
