Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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