i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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