I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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