She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
