so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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