'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
